Couples who have been married a long time (like me and the Hubs) rarely learn anything new about each other at this stage of the game. For the most part, we’ve seen it all, been through it all (at least, we hope, the tough stuff), learning along the way and had each other’s back. Some things were assumed, some by trial and error and others had to be repeated numerous times before we learned our lesson the hard way.

From the get-go we had a true appreciation for all things old, except appliances. We learned ‘new’ came with a warranty, which was better but not always affordable. We both liked oak antiques which were often out of our price range, but Hubs was handy. I didn’t hesitate buying a piece of furniture that had seen better days. If the price was right, I brought it home and John could visualize what was needed to restore it to prime condition. He did the repair work, I helped with refinishing.

For our first decade of wedded bliss we lived in several rentals. Most were basically the same, just with a different address. The owners were reluctant to invest much money because you never knew how much damage renters were going to incur. I think we were good renters but we had pets and small kids which invariably caused damage to most everything they touched. For the most part, flooring was painfully thin carpet or cheap linoleum. Showers were rare, a claw footed tub was the highlight of the bathroom during the 70’s.

Rooms were small, walls were painted white, yellow or green. If there was woodwork it was painted or covered in contact paper to look like wood grain. Kitchens were modest with cheap, used appliances. Painted cupboards were standard. Heck I grew up with painted cupboards until I was in high school and dad remodeled the kitchen. While I don’t ever remember saying, “we’re never having painted cupboards in our home,” it was a forgone conclusion that painted cupboards or antiques would never find a place in our home. You don’t cover up beautiful wood. Ever. You just don’t.

We held to this ‘gold standard’ of never painting ‘good wood’ for 50 years. When we listed our 20 year old lake home a few years ago, Mary our realtor, strongly suggested we paint our oak trim and wainscoting. We both looked at her as though she had grown a third eye. “No, absolutely not,” was our reply.

When Joshua, our middle kid walked into the house we bought eight years ago, the first thing he said was, “what color are you painting the cupboards?” “Ha! Never,” I replied. True, they needed a good scrubbing but they were modern and oak. You don’t paint oak. We needed new flooring and appliances but never gave a thought to changing the look of the cupboards.

Now the countertops, sink and faucet were a different story. Soft, faded yellow Formica probably installed when the cupboards were replaced 25-30 years ago. There were scratches and stains, no backsplash, and the sink was like me, showing several age spots. Still I doused it with Clorox/water once a week to keep the stains from returning to a minimum (the sink, not me).

Suddenly last fall, the guy I’ve lived with over 50 years spouts, “I wanna paint the cupboards, take out the dishwasher you’ve never used, get a new sink, faucet, garbage disposal, backsplash and countertops. I think you’d like navy blue for the bottom cupboards and linen on the top.” “What have you done with my husband? Where is he? I’m calling the cops.” (The only thing stopping me was this guy knew my favorite color has always been navy).

“Where in the world is this coming from? You know the rules. We DON’T paint wood. Are you ok? Do you know what day it is? What’s my name?”

“Very funny Neese, I’m serious. You spend a lot of time in here. I don’t but I’m sick of looking at this drab kitchen, especially the countertops. They’re pitiful. It won’t cost that much because I’m going to do the painting. You’re gonna love it.”

Ok, but he’s never liked painting anything, or been very good at it. He tends to put too much paint on the brush which causes runs. “No, I’ve been watching videos on YouTube.” (Oh boy) He assured me it’s a different way to paint cupboards with different paint and brushes.

Still skeptical he’d been replaced by an AI, I acquiesced. Just as he was ready to order the paint I changed my mind. Not about painting, just the colors. Decided to go with light and dark shades of gray instead.

Hubs started by removing the unused dishwasher-no easy task, then bought an unfinished matching cupboard with three drawers to replace it. (I’ve only had 2 drawers in my kitchen and one is 8 inches wide, only good for pot holders). Each one of the cupboards doors got labeled with a number to its original opening. Prepping the wood was next. My participation in this endeavor was minimal. I helped pick out the countertops, backsplash, sink and faucet. As he was painting and had finished for the day he asked me to go over the new paint and point out spots he missed. Now this is a task where I excel and was only too happy to point out (his) minor infractions. (He says I’m an expert on this, I tell him it’s because he gives me so much practice-hahaha).

We hired a contractor to install the countertops, sink, disposal and backsplash. Ta-dah! (To be continued. Next time on-“Let’s improve the lighting with Neese”)…