Hubs and I were reminiscing about our early years of wedlock. Let’s just call them the floundering first 5. It was the summer of ’69. (Sounds almost lyrical) John was working at the NBC affiliate, KTIV in Sioux City, Iowa as a projectionist. I was a nurse’s aide at a local nursing home. I was on my parent’s shit list, so rather than start another war, we told no one (besides our buddy Dale-the witness) and eloped in Elk Point, South Dakota one Monday night in September. I was almost 19, he was 21. (I’m now convinced it’s gonna last). The floundering first 5 were tough in every category. Getting used to cohabitating, not much parental support, bills up the wazoo and not nearly enough money coming in to pay them, yet when we reflect back, those were some great years. I attribute some small successes and one huge defeat to the gang/job in the very beginning, while he worked at Channel 4.

The Enforcer:

A highly structured guy named Don who was Channel 4’s station manager. He was well known throughout Sioux City, as was his distinctive voice and big black glasses. (Also for firing Tom Brokaw, wishing him well but concluding there was no future for Tom in television. Ha-ha-ha).

The Rising Star:

By the time we got hitched, Hubs had moved from the projection room into the Control room as a director. Started running commercials during the day during game shows and soap operas (These are the Days of our Lives), and directing the 5 minute mini-newscast at 8:25 am. Soon he was proficient directing the noon news and began producing commercials for local businesses like Toy National Bank and The Red Barn Bridal Shop in Cherokee. After a few months Hubs was requested in the legal contract by several companies when they called Channel 4 to arrange for new commercials to be made.

Local Talent:

Hubs was responsible for 2 local programs at Channel 4. Every year during the month of December, various schools and churches were invited to do live Christmas concerts lasting an hour called, Songs in the Night. (What could possibly go wrong with 50 teenage singers and a couple of nuns)? The choirs were lackadaisical about their song timing which really concerned the rising star director after having a couple groups go longer than their time allotments. There were no commercials during this hour. He then insisted they give him their program selections, including the length of each song ahead of time. Why? Because 90% of the choirs wanted to sing the Hallelujah Chorus last-which proved disastrous. Back in the 70’s it was illegal/blasphemous/morally corrupt/atheistic to interrupt the Hallelujah Chorus-after it started. That magnificent song lasts about 5 minutes. The groups could still sing the Hallelujah Chorus anytime during their concert, but never as their last number after Hubs started doing the shows.

The other program Hubs directed weekly was a Billy Graham/Orel Roberts wannabe. Some minister with a huge, wealthy congregation who liked what he saw on the pulpit. (Himself) He’d roll in the lot with his new Lincoln, pop off a few dirty jokes with the guys, then give a sermon on how sinful people are. His hour of worship included special musical groups, famous guests, and his lovely, diamond studded wife, wearing a dress with 30 pounds of sequins. He gave some serious consideration to taking his show on the road across America. (“Love, Brother Love, say Brother Love’s Traveling Salvation Show. Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies, and everyone goes, cause everyone knows, Brother Love’s show). Preacher offered John the director’s job, going on the road with him. Not only was John completely turned off by this charlatan, we now were parents of Shannon and months on the road apart wasn’t appealing.

There were some quirky perks that went along with being in the station’s control room. The days after we became first time parents, Shannon’s birth and newborn pictures were touted during every newscast. Whenever Shannon and I stopped to visit Daddy at work, a black & white photo session was included because he could develop them right at the station.

Comic Relief:

The cast of characters he worked with from the late 60’s to the mid 70’s have not yet been forgotten by either of us. There was an arrangement between Channel 4 and Briar Cliff College. Students from the school were hired at a special rate to become cameramen. Now this was not as easy as you might think. Channel 4 had one color camera (the other local station had 2) to do the newscast. And it was the size of our bathroom. Not kidding. They also had 2 black & white cameras for slides and when any of the news or sports were read from a teleprompter, it had to be hand cranked. Literally. There were usually 4 guys doing the legwork on the camera side.

These camera guys were about the same age as Hubs, very smart, but with the mentality and maturity level of a boundary pushing toddler. One of them was a wild and crazy guy named Jake. Jake is the only person I ever knew who actually went to Woodstock. John was telling someone about his brother Arly who was in the Navy, doing a tour in Vietnam and had recently sent us his new stereo system to use until he was discharged. Enormous Pioneer speakers, Roberts reel to reel, turntable, along with every recorded song by the Beatles and The Doors thus far in their careers (1970). Jake happened to be walking by and said he had just bought a new record by a (yet) unknown group he thought we’d enjoy. So he made a tape for us. The band was The Virgin Fugs. Some of the raunchy tunes were, Saran Wrap, The Ten Commandments (they did acknowledge God as a co-writer for the song), and Coca Cola Douche. Lord have mercy. We listened and thought it was hilarious but not very good. We saved the tape and gave it to Arly when he came to collect his fabulous stereo system.

The Brains behind the scene:

The chief engineer, Al was the guy who drove to Rock Valley and offered the projectionist’s job to John. Al was a genius. When Channel 4 was changing from black and white to color news film (the ABC station used color film for their news stories), Channel 4’s owner balked at the idea. Too expensive. He was frugal. Al (the genius) designed and built a homemade color film developer for Channel 4.

The Talking Heads:

Carl, the news guy was appalled when the young snot nose director of the 6 & 10 o’clock newscasts insisted on getting a copy of every story before the news started. If the story lacked documentation or hadn’t been verified, it was John’s responsibility to deny letting him read the copy. Used to drive Carl nuts. Wasn’t a power trip, just Hubs job.

The sportscaster was a guy named Roger, who was in his 40’s. One night John was directing the 10 o’clock news and had cued up a commercial film still frame for the next break in between the news and sports. That was so their bathroom sized color camera could be shifted from Carl to Roger. Right before the break, cameraman Doug (the biggest prankster and worst offender of everything) would grab the humongous circular handle on the camera and slowly ease it backwards, allowing both Carl and Roger in the same shot. Roger would have a short introduction of his first story, then John would start the commercial film at the break.

The commercial was for DX Super Boron. In the beginning of the commercial there was a Super Boron mascot monkey climbing up the DX sign. Unfortunately at the same time Roger’s sports intro was a story on “Broadway Joe Namath” which is the slide that should have been used instead of the adorable monkey. (Hubs fault) But Roger was a basket case. He bit down hard on his lip but could not stifle a huge guffaw which turned into a hearty laugh. Which turned into a five minute hysterical giggle fit including tears, slapping the desk and a bowing his head. He could not stop laughing. It lasted the entire length of his sports segment. John finally broke away, Roger left the news set and the weather segment lasted an eternity.

The Revolving Door:

The weathermen/women at Channel 4 never stayed long. They were like disposable gloves. The station usually hired recent college graduates because they were inexperienced and inexpensive. I remember a nice guy named Al and a neat young gal named Kathy (who got teased mercilessly but could dish it out too) but both were gone to greener pastures before we really got to know them.

Chief Financial Guru who refused to spend a buck:

His name was Flaherty and he was past retirement when Hubs was hired. He didn’t come to the station very often but his idiosyncrasies were well known on a daily basis. You’d think he’d get upset about the 10 minute giggle fest during the sports section but nah, that stuff never bothered him. He had one standing rule that was not to be broken. Ever. John wasn’t permitted to let the NBC network run a Preparation H commercial on Channel 4. I am freakin’ serious people. John got a list daily of the network’s commercials 24 hours in advance. He’d go through it, noting when the Preparation H commercials were scheduled to run. He couldn’t just let those 30 or 60 seconds of air time be a blank screen so John would run Public Service Announcements (PSA’s) while every other NBC affiliate station in the country was learning how to relieve your painful hemorrhoids. He was totally anal about it.

To this day, Hubs says working at Channel 4 was the best job he ever had, and he was superb at it. He loved the pressure of directing newscasts. He was innovative, creating commercials that were technologically advanced, discovering new ways of editing and using special effects. He had an unusual vision producing programs. He enjoyed meeting famous people (Chet Huntley & David Brinkley). But the pay was pitifully meager and we were falling farther and farther behind. We almost accepted a job offer from a larger market share station in Minneapolis but dreaded moving to such a big city to raise our young family. To make big bucks we would eventually end up in Chicago or New York. That did nothing for either of us. But I think he would have enjoyed his work career much more and I know he would have been highly successful…

It became a ‘thing’ in our house around 1985, gaining momentum through the next 2 moves in Michigan, once in 1987 and again in 1994. We were living in the Quad Cities when it started. I had no idea what was in store for my life over the next 15 years when the Hubs moseyed through the door carrying a large box with Toshiba stamped on it.

It was a new fangled video cassette recorder/player. VCR for short. Designed to record programs right off your TV. Hallelujah, praise the Lord, Amen. Suddenly we were no longer required to watch ‘Moonlighting’ at 8 on Tuesday night, or ‘LA Law’ on Friday’s. It was a miracle. I can’t tell you how many times I missed a favorite show during the early years of motherhood because it was bath or story time, or I had to start another load of wash. Guess what? When you missed an episode of ‘Bewitched’ you might get a second chance to catch it during the summer reruns, otherwise you were screwed. Period.

This wonderful gizmo also played pre-recorded movies which had recently played in theaters. What? With a family of five and a very limited spending budget on any extracurricular activities, we could now watch popular movies. At home. Brilliant. At first it wasn’t easy finding the newest movies. No Blockbuster or Family Video just yet. But it didn’t take long before independent businesses began popping up throughout the Quad Cities, renting movies for 99 cents. We’d rent the daily limit, bringing home a variety of kid and adult movies. Four of the five of us were completely enthralled with this new form of entertainment. Shannon was in her mid-teens and not so enamored. She was too busy reading, doing homework, babysitting, cheerleading, playing music or yakking on the phone to be bothered by a two hour movie with 2 younger brothers and a pair of very dull parents, (who were actually quite young and hip).

A few months later I became somewhat distrustful/disillusioned with Big Brother’s ability to get inside my head because of how closely ‘they’ were tracking me. Every time I inserted a videotape into the magical VCR, pushed play, up on the screen would pop this disturbing disclaimer. “This film has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your TV.” (Yikes! How did ‘they’ know what size TV I was watching? Freaked me out so bad I didn’t dare ask John about it for a couple years in case ‘they’ were listening as ‘they’ adjusted every movie I rented to fit my screen. When I was finally brave enough to ask how this was even possible, Hubs laughed til he cried. The Sadist).

After we moved to Michigan my movie/VCR obsession continued and my trivia knowledge on the subject grew to epic proportions. On any given night, if the kids were with friends I could expect a phone call from one of them (two were teens) asking me a question of no consequence to anyone. “Ma, who played the girl who lost her glasses in the bus station in Adventures in Babysitting?” “Penelope Ann Miller, rookie.” (This is the movie where I fell hard for Vincent D’Orofrio with his portrayal of Dawson/Thor). “Hey Mom, who played the veteran catcher with bum knees in Major League?” “Tom Berenger,” another one of my heartthrobs.

But I wasn’t content with simply renting the best action adventures (Die Hard, Quigley Down Under, True Lies), rom-coms (There’s Something about Mary, Notting Hill, Green Card, Dave, Benny & Joon, Hope Floats), comedies, (Kindergarten Cop, “it’s not a brain tumor,” Major League, The Money Pit, Uncle Buck, Parenthood, Three Amigos, “You scum sucking pig! You son of a motherless goat).” Our two boys yelled this at each other for years. Years. Or psychological thrillers, (Sleeping with the Enemy, Sixth Sense, Pacific Heights, (who knew Mr. Mom’s, Michael Keaton could be so menacing)?

No, if I liked the movie enough to rent it a second or third time, the movie had to come stay in my house-forever. I had a quirky deal going for the movies I had to have. Knew a great gal who worked in the video rental department at (you know what’s coming) my favorite store, Meijer. Meijer would get several copies of a highly anticipated movie like Die Hard. After a few weeks my gal (on the inside) would research the tape’s rental history on the computer. Which copy of Die Hard (yippee-ky-yay-mf) had been rented the least number of times. And she’d sell it to me. Sometimes it hadn’t been out of the store twice, but I’d get it for a fraction of the cost. So my movie library was extensive-yet inexpensive.

I knew only one other family who were as ga-ga about movies like us. But they used a different method. They had two VCR’s and piggybacked it somehow so when they rented a movie, they copied it before returning it. (Hollywood figured this out after a couple years). This family attended movies different than we did too. The whole group (3 or 4 boys I think) paid to see a movie on Saturday. Not everyone wanted to see the same flick, but there were several movies to choose from at the theater. After the first movie ended, instead of loading up in the car and heading home, everyone chose a different movie (however not paying again) and sneak into a second, then a third and so on. Spent the whole day at the theatre on the weekends.

Hollywood had since lost their ability to come up with any new plots or originality, they settled for monotonous remakes of decent movies and duplicated them with lame facsimiles. I became disenfranchised. But all was not lost for my favorite piece of equipment beside my Kitchenaid mixer. We had moved to our lake home in North Muskegon and had 4 TV’s in that house for a few years. (The boys were still around and I had to have a TV in the kitchen to watch my Cubbies-duh). With the explosion of multiple cable stations we found ourselves watching series on channels besides the major networks. Sometimes there were 2 shows on at the same time but on different channels. When we watched a VHS tape (I bought them by the skid) Hubs could fast forward through the commercials. (Actually I think the last commercial I watched in it’s entirety was in 1995. And I’m still not ready to watch another). The problem was our TV’s were not yet capable of changing channels without me. Major bummer. If I wanted to tape a program at 8 on NBC, then a 9 o’clock show on CBS, I had to literally change the channel exactly at 9. That proved to be a bigger pain than watching commercials, so we just added more VCR’s than we had children.

After acquiring a degree in rocket science, my job was to program all the VRC’s in the house. Tried to leave the kitchen TV alone because it had to be on WGN most of the time for the Cub games. One TV was designated for CBS, one for NBC and so on. And I had to keep track how many hours I’d programmed on each one before I had to replace the tape, sometimes midweek. Bought a tape rewinder to save on the VRC mechanisms, then had to place all the unwatched tapes in the right sequence so we’d watch them in the right order. The. Struggle. Was. Real.

Got to mention this zinger. One of our favorite shows at the height of my VCR madness was NYPD Blue on Tuesday nights at 10. After we moved to North Muskegon (160 miles northwest of Jackson) in 1994, we were dismayed (ok, royally pissed off) to learn we no longer had access to NYPD. The local ABC affiliate in Grand Rapids deemed NYPD Blue to racy for their delicate constituent’s Dutch ears and eyes and blocked it out, running a lame rerun of something more suitable for the masses. Unbelievable. Just because Andy Sipowitz grabbed his crotch when disagreeing with a female attorney (whom he would marry later on the show). Now the whole Super Bowl half time show was filled with crotch grabs). I enlisted my friend from Jackson (sin city) to tape NYPD Blue for a month at a time and mail the tapes to me for a couple years.

My 15 year obsession with my trusty batch of VCR’s dwindled to one for watching rentals in 2003, when we signed up for Directv. Part of the package was a built-in, tape less recorder with the ability to record multiple programs at the same time. With oodles of hours of taped TV. Now my job was studiously pouring over the TV guide, then instructing Hubs which program/series, channel number, day, time, first run only, start recording one minute early and add 2 minutes at the end. Lucky I still had that degree…