You can’t actually like that…

My opinion matters very little. But I’m bored so you’re bearing the brunt. At first I read the caption wrong. I thought you were supposed to list your pet peeves (everyone should be in harmony with mine, right)? But the way it was worded, the actual gist of the survey is supposed to be ‘things’ I dislike but other people like. Can you visualize Richard Dawson, pointing his finger while he turns around and says, “top seven answers are on the board, survey says?”

Had this been listing my pet peeves-I could have written a book-under an hour, but this-what I don’t like but others do is gonna be harder-until I gave it some thought. You’re supposed to list 10 in no particular order. There were no instructions for listing any explanations/reasoning/justification/. But where’s the fun in that? And why stop at a 10? So here goes.

1961 Canton, South Dakota. Dad, Mom, me (w/o a dress) & Mona…

1. Taco Bell: several years ago I was stranded in an elevator for about an hour before the fire department was called for a heroic rescue. On the elevator with me was the Hubs and a sad sack (not the Hubs) of fetid, greasy, reeking Taco Bell. Can’t describe that nauseous segment of time any differently. My stomach still does flips (not the good kind) when I come within a block of their malodorous restaurants ever since.

Good grief I swear I can smell the picture…

2. Curtains: God didn’t invent windows so they’d be all covered up and I wouldn’t be able to see out. I used to hang curtains when we were starting out 50 years ago. Everyone did-curtains or drapes. (never had drapes, they remind me of a funeral parlor). Have to say moving to Muskegon Lake cured me of the curtain fetish. What’s the advantage of living on a lake with a stunning view if you’re not viewing the lake? Made no sense. I do have valances on some windows, shades in the bedrooms and family room for nighttime but nothing on my sliders or bay window in the living room. Nope, I’m no longer ‘drawn’ to hiding behind some dreary cloth covering up my windows.

3. E-books: I get much more enjoyment out of holding a book in my hands when I’m reading. It’s personal. Would if I want to go back 20 pages because I want to reread a paragraph or look up a new character’s name that I’ve already forgotten? I’m not going to that little swipey thing 30 times. I have 50 books on my iPad I’ve not read, yet I regularly shop at a used book site and order a half dozen books a month for a pittance. Same goes for my newspaper. I like holding the paper, hearing it rustle while I turn pages. (However I think newspapers will be extinct soon).

I want to hold the real thing as I read…

4. Peanut butter fudge: although I like peanut butter and love chocolate, the 2 should not be in close proximity of each other. Just chocolate fudge with nutmeats for me please.

5. Artificial SQUARE nails: ugly and disgusting. And that pointy stiletto shape isn’t any better. You’re quarantined at home with nothing to do after the kiddos are sleeping. Grow out, file and polish your own nails.

Hideous…

6. White gold: there’s just something so rich looking about yellow gold jewelry. White gold, silver, platinum, titanium all seem kinda harsh/cold/formidable.

7. Diamond clusters: as long as we’re on the subject of jewelry, those cold, white gold engagement rings with 100 microscopic sized diamond chips clustered closely together to give the illusion of one large stone sucks big time. Looks like one big cluster-well you know where I’m going. For the first and only time in your life-man up. Buy her the biggest, best quality solitaire you can afford. Dude. On this topic, size really does matter.

This is cheating guys. Buy one (1) diamond of decent size..

8. Beer: smells like shit and tastes worse.

9. Yogurt: surely we can make and keep our ‘gut’ happy and healthy without this horrible, bland, thick, icky paste stuff.

10. Praise worship: I’m not worshiping God by singing a monotonous, repetitious modern tune with my arms flapping in the air, side to side causing a stiff breeze. I yearn for traditional hymns, reciting the Lord’s Prayer/Apostles Creed in unison. Using a hymn book and a Bible for the scripture lesson. No big screens. Repeat. No. Big. Screens.

11. Dresses: just say no. Always. For the rest of your life.

12. Scary movies: occult, horror, I know they’re not real, I know it can’t really happen but I just can’t watch these genres. That’s odd because I like psychological thrillers which really can happen. I change the TV station if the floor creaks during a Hallmark commercial. No explanation, just how I’m wired.

Put him down…

13. Snow: do not succumb so easily to the misinformed who falsely believe big, fluffy white flakes are in any way, shape or form-beautiful. They lie. Every year. That stuff is pure evil. It’s horrible and much worse than scary movies. I. Hate. Every. Flake.

How can this be considered beautiful? Yuk. Really, yuk…

14. Peanut butter and jelly: who ever thought of putting this odd combination together? Warped mind right there.

15. Dress shoes: men’s or women’s. Narrow, pointy toes, several inches of pain inducing heels which add strain to every step should be outlawed. The feet God gave us for the ‘sole’ purpose of walking around for decades should not ever be submitted to this kind of torture. Ever.

This should be outlawed. Never do this to your precious feet…

16. Sour cream: a glop of this crap on top of anything, soup, potatoes, Mexican is a sin. And a shame. (I do use it in a couple recipes though-the taste however is masked by other good stuff).

17. Buffets: all of them, breakfast, lunch, supper or the worst offender-Chinese. First off I’m worried the foods are not being kept up to the appropriate temperature. That alone can curb my appetite (which really is a good thing right)? There’s too many choices and I want to try all of them so I overeat. Chinese buffets present a whole new set of issues. One of things I like best about Chinese food is how crunchy the veggies are when they come piping hot out of the wok after a couple minutes of cooking. So let’s plop them on a buffet table with a questionable heating device until they’re completely limp like a noodle in overcooked soup. No thanks. I always ask for a menu.

18. Gender reveal parties: not much of a fan, but I can see some advantages. Sure you can paint the nursery, buy appropriate clothing, toys, furniture when you’re still 6 months pregnant. But those months of wonderful anticipation throughout your pregnancy (back in the day) were second to none. When someone gave you a shower, the gifts were consistently gender neutral. Pale yellow, mint green, snow white soft sleepers and receiving blankets. Baby rattles, teething rings, cloth diapers, bottles, bibs, crib sheets. There were lots of choices for gifts which weren’t dedicated specifically for a boy or girl. Those gifts you got after giving birth in the hospital or when you were back home. And you had to pick out boys and girl’s names, making it twice as hard. I did know the sex of one of my babies before they were born-by a couple hours. I knew a month ahead that the baby was breech-feet first. So when a little foot poked out during labor, a nurse checked to make sure the cord wasn’t causing problems she blurted, “I feel a little scrotum, you’d better pick out a boys name.”

Can’t you just wait until the baby is born? Patience people…

And yet another snippet of what goes on in the mind of Neese. You’re welcome (or apologies)…

4 thoughts on “You can’t actually like that…

  1. I haven’t seen this particular list request on Facebook but there are several other versions. I agree with nearly all of your list. Chalk a lot of it up to my bad experiences, like yours with Taco Bell. I hate fake nails, scary movies, beer, yogurt, buffet restaurants, snow and ghastly high heels. I won’t go into details, but the snow and high heels have both been the cause of splendid wrecks in my time…Thanks for writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha-ha Jane, the snow and high heels is a story I’d like to hear someday. We do share quite a few dislikes together. I assume your accompanying duties have been curtailed by church closures like Michigan. Hope we get to start moving forward again soon. Thanks for reading…

      Like

  2. Belly laughs! But, I must draw the line at peanut butter and jelly and also sour cream. BTW, also likes your pic of the Michael Connelly book. Can’t wait for the next series.

    Liked by 1 person

    • One of our kids gave Hubs a year of Amazon prime for Father’s Day last summer. We watched 2 episodes of Bosch and I was hooked. Love Titus Welliver and his brooding character. Told John I need to read the books so I’d send for 4 at a time. I have to get the last one where he’s teaming up with Ballard again. I hate to think of Harry retiring. I’m gonna miss him. Now I’ve started on Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series. Read the first 2 and loved them so ordered the next 9. I was so happy when I read the physical description of Reacher-reminds me more of a fair haired ‘The Rock’ than little squirt Tom Cruise. We never had peanut butter and jelly when I was a kid. Hubs still eats it on toast, I think it’s disgusting. Glad this managed a chuckle. Thanks…

      Liked by 1 person

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