Finding Nemo…

If you’ve been following my blog during the past 4 years, you pretty much know there’s not many subjects I won’t talk about. Besides politics. Politics are fiercely personal. Most of us STRONGLY believe one way or the other, but as a rule tend to hold these beliefs close to our vests. I try not to argue with friends who have views different than mine, because it just causes hurt or hard feelings. Who wants that? Besides, I’m not gonna change their mind and they’re sure not gonna change mine. For the most part, I have no trouble baring my soul, faults, aspirations (a haphazard attempt to make you think I aspire to anything) misgivings, shortcomings and sins in front of others.

My favorite spot-Niagara Falls, on my way to Paris, 2017…

This is different though cause it’s more of an uncomfortable or embarrassing story. It’s about our house. Can you believe we’ve been here 3 years already? I pretty much included you guys with our remodel, taking you along through the purchases, frustrations, decisions, lost furniture. Deciding to take out a wall to enlarge our bedroom. Remember when I couldn’t find the shelves to a couple of my antique china closets for months? So all of my Delft and Waterford sat in boxes while I searched every nook & cranny. Recall where I finally found them? In the bottom of those long, narrow boxes with our framed pictures. Goodness. I wasn’t ready to hang stuff up until the glassware boxes were empty, but couldn’t find the shelves. Pretty funny now, but at the time, very aggravating.

Our house turned out great. Small, but we’re comfortable here, it suits our needs. New appliances, floor coverings, paint and more paint. New driveway, sidewalk, plus an addition on the garage. Hubs is somewhat satisfied with our yard thus far. We had no grass to speak of which drove him crazy. One huge hollow tree, only shrubs on the east and north sides, which were as tall as the house. We tore out the east side, had the hollow tree removed, and left the privacy shrubs in the back. Planted new shrubs, a couple of gorgeous trees added 6 tons of river rock and edging.

All of our new cute, little shrubs. Wow, everything has really grown…

The room that needed the most work was also the smallest. Our bathroom was HIDEOUS. No lie. Window was moldy, tub was indescribable. We kept the toilet. That’s it. Had the room tore down to the 2 x 4’s and started over. Eliminated the tub (caught some flack for that, “it’s gonna hurt your resale not having a tub.” Don’t care, we’re not gonna use the tub and we sure don’t want to step over it for the rest of our lives) tiled the floor, walls and step in shower. It’s the nicest room in our house. Truth. Nothing fancy but very nice. Couldn’t do anything about the size-it’s small with an abnormally big-ass window smack-dab in the shower. I hate it but we didn’t want to buy new siding (the siding and furnace were the only 2 things we didn’t have to spend money on). So far. 

My bathroom buddy, Nemo…

We didn’t start on the bathroom for 6 months. There was a shower stall downstairs, plus the questionable/but usable sink and toilet upstairs, so we made do. After picking out everything for the rest of the house, we just needed a little break. When our contractor was ready to tackle the bathroom during the spring it was actually fun again to decide on cabinets and fixtures. Tile pattern, size, color was a tough one. I loved the one I chose, a mixture of grays/blues and khaki. But when Duke started tiling the walls it didn’t look anything like the pattern I picked out. Lovely but predominantly shades of grays/blues, missing khaki. Didn’t really matter but we picked out shower door trim, faucets, handles with a khaki base in mind, so chose oil rubbed bronze. Had we realized the tile colors were more grays/blues we definitely would have gone with brushed nickel. Our bathroom is fabulous and I’m happy with the results. 

The “real” Nemo….

Now this might get a tad uncomfortable. Shouldn’t be, but having a conversation about doing anything in the bathroom constitutes TMI don’t ‘ya think? Me too. No matter, that’s never stopped me before, so here goes. 
I’m anal (oh boy, here we go with the butt jokes) about my phone. A 3 year old iPhone (dropped 3 times, starting in Italy, 2016) which I treat with kid gloves. In every room of our house, I set my phone in exactly the same place. Why? Because I’m very deaf and have a lot of trouble figuring out which direction sound is coming from. Although it rings infrequently, for my peace of mind, I need to know where to look when it starts ringing. Placing it in a familiar place let’s me locate it quickly. 

Look carefully, here lives Nemo, Jesus & Tinkerbell….

I don’t like bringing my phone in the bathroom. Who wants to fetch it out of the toilet should it take tumble number 4? Kind of a double edged sword. For safety’s sake I should have it in case I fall. So for the most part my phone does tag along in the bathroom when I shower, but I don’t fart around (a feeble attempt at potty humor) with it. My phone sits safely on the back of the toilet while I-well you know. Which is a complete waste of time. Why would God design us this way? Seems strange. Needing to flush (that’s 3 and counting) our bodily wastes frequently, day and night. I hate using the bathroom. But since my bathroom is totally awesome, my reactions remain mixed. 

Oh good Lord, it’s Jesus…

Who knew as I sat on the pot, my tiled walls are as eager to tell stories as I am? Indeed. Not long after my beautiful bathroom was completed I spotted a perfect Clownfish on a tile. Little Nemo-swimming happily at eye level from the pooper. I know it’s cute and disgusting all at the same time. Other creatures have since randomly appeared-only to disappear the next time I’m using the facility. But not Nemo. And he brought with him an unusual variety of characters to happily live together. Jesus and Tinkerbell. On the same tile. Oh my word. You do have to use your imagination however.

Several times daily I search for more recognizable friends imbedded in my line of vision to keep us company. But most have been reluctant to join our little soirée. Marlin (Nemo’s daddy) has been a no show and I’ve heard Dory is making laps with the blue wave. Nemo’s joined the swimming group from the red wave. Politically, they are are now sworn anemones. Hope someday they again see eye to eye on such matters.

Tinkerbell is a bit harder to envision. Use your imagination….

John just walked past and asked what I was doing? When I didn’t answer immediately, he ventured, “you’re blogging, you know I’m gonna read it when you’re done.” While it’s no big secret, I didn’t know how to describe my strange star studded tile bathroom blog attempt. After hem-hawing around, I told him of Nemo’s existence. Nonplussed he quips, “have you spotted the uniformed Star Trek soldier with Deanna Troi, hovering over him, touching his face yet?” WTH? Pray for me, Hubs has gone Looney Tunes…

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